Satire Sunday: The Fatal Flaw

When Sadie Pup was bored, she liked to play,
And toss and chase and throw about the floor
Her fav'rite toy. It squeaked a lot! Today,
However, her own human, wanting more
Than just a squeaky plushie for her dog,
Brought home the latest, An-E-Mal by name.
A few adjustments, and 'twould be a frog,
A duck, a mouse - whatever type of game
Or vermin your pet likes the best, with sounds
To match! It even claimed that it could tell
Based on how it was played with, what compounds
Were missing from her diet! It worked well
For fifteen minutes. Then it was a pile
Of faux fur, stuffing, circuits, on the tile.

Weird Wednesday: Doggie Heaven

Mariah's life had ended, but she felt
Disoriented as she looked about.
She couldn't speak, did not know where she dwelt,
And felt the urgent need to just get out!
Alas, a giant door contained her. "Aww,
You want to go outside? Do you? Well, speak!"
All she could do was yip; her mouth and jaw
Could not form words, but what she'd done seemed fine.
Outdoors the world was wonderful, with smell
And sound that fair bewitched her. "Puppy, mine,"
A voice said "You e'er treated your dogs well
In life. Now that you're dead, you get to live
The life that those once in your care will give."

Terror Tuesday: The Squeaking of the Sky

We crossed the bridge at sunset ev'ry night,
My little dog and I, and on our walk
We loved to watch the bats begin their flight
From underneath its planks. Sometimes I'd talk
To Sadie pup about the "flying mice".
She'd bark and try to catch them as they passed
Beneath us. But one night, the weather nice,
An autumn eve of rare perfection, last
We'd see... I don't know what had changed, but they
We'd celebrated wheeled about as one
And flew at us, until we ran away!
They chased us for a mile or more. The sun
Had gone, and they were hungry. Now I fear
The squeaking of the sky, when they draw near.

- Inspired by Eric Orchard and Orrin Grey

Throwback Thursday: Sea to Sea, See?

Those little paw prints tracking up the sand
Along the vast Pacific's northern shore
That parallel much larger ones are grand
If none too permanent clues proving lore
That Milo Mudfoot and his hero, Jack
Were first to cross this continent entire.
Arriving on a privateer out back
And east somewhere, then, never did they tire,
They journeyed with a wagon train along
The trail to Oregon. Their masters had
Succumbed to dysentery, but this strong,
Resilient pair of pups, through good and bad,
Had made it. Now they bark at crashing waves
And have all any doggies e'er could crave!

Dog Week: Weird Wednesday: Rosie Chihuassell, Scourge of Monster Kind

Nobody saw the monster -- well, except
For Rosie, pint-sized ball of ire and fur
And anger that intruders might beset
Her territory. Were this to occur
She'd kill or else be killed! Among her stock
Of weapons was her mighty sonic shriek.
She used it 'gainst all foes around the clock
With varying success. It was quite weak
On deer and power mowers, cats and those
Across the street who went about their chores
Like nought was wrong. At nighttime, though, there rose
The ghasts and gaunts and ghouls that she abhors,
That she alone can see. They shall not feed
While she can bark, they agonize indeed.

Dog Week: Mystery Monday: A Plot Uncovered

Another kitten found dead in the road.
Miss Zoe Boxer knew this could not be
Coincidence! But information flowed
So poorly in her neighborhood. "I'm free,"
She reasoned. "Ev'rybody else is stuck
In fences. Only I can roam about
And find the truth! All right, then, wish me luck!"
From yard to yard she rambled. Over shouts
From humans to "Go home" she did consult
With all the canine sages. No one knew
Why feral kittens met with such results.
But then, in one vast driveway -- yes! A clue!
A dish of antifreeze was proffered there.
No critter who drank of it lived to share!

Dog Week: Satire Sunday: Big Living

As Albert Einstein stretched his corgi legs
(A deeply cute and funny thing to see)
His daughter, Margaret Thatcher cried "I beg
You once again to do this thing for me!"
(She said this with her face and tail, of course;
E'en corgis cannot speak the Queen's). "All right,"
Her daddy said. "Your nags at last hath force."
(They're quite expressive, no?) "I shall not fight.
We'll find a house that suits us. Turn it on."
An HGTV marathon ensued.
The perfect tiny house would be theirs! Gone
Would be that too-high furniture! Their food
Would ne'er be out of reach! One problem, though:
In so small quarters, where'd their human go?

Dog Week: Sci-Fi Saturday: Discontinued Models

Suzanne and Rick had full lives, but as age
Crept up on them, they did admit some need.
Rick hated carebots, though. Then, on a page
In Cyber Fancy, their son chanced to read
An ad for a new breed of home-care tech:
NurseDogz! Thus came to their old house a pair
Of fuzzy poodles, programmed well to check
Blood pressure and such other stats as their
Physicians liked to know. And they were cute!
But soon Rick had subverted Willow, who
Reverted to her yappy, happy roots
And lied on her reports. Then Gracie, too
Developed glitches. Suzanne's crafty hack
Let her shop Amazon behind Rick's back!